Thursday, June 27, 2013

Create a New Routine

In a different space, with different limitations, it is time to get creative about being creative.

Keeping the overwhelm demons at bay, is a challenge. As boxes get opened and the mish-mash of contents reveal themselves, context is missing. I wonder, what am I REALLY going to do with that? How do I really want this space to look when everything is put away? What will I really, feasibly be able to do here? How and when?

Then the demons start screaming again! The quiet voice of calm whispers, one box at a time, one task at a time, one day at a time. She at least limits it to three, or the demons start up again.. that is a lot to remember, one thing at a time.

The little things that I did for myself that others may think crazy, helped keep the demons under control. It appeased them, that we were at least doing SOMETHING! But there is so much more to do!

We want to do so much more. Perhaps the trick is to get the demons on board, align them with the same desire as the rest of us. What could they possibly be resisting? Success? Accomplishment? Those demons, they like to be victims, to be immersed in drama. It makes them feel important. I need them to be helpful, to become part of the team. I can not let them drive the bus anymore.

So demons, to the back seat with you! ...and put on your seat belts... we are in for fun and rewarding ride!

(Maybe I need to identify the demons and help them to be acknowledged... train them to be team members... yes, to quote a friend... "is she trainable?")  We will see with these guys!

Monday, June 24, 2013

What For? My current answer to a haunting question......

A Raging Minnehaha Creek, just above the Falls
Well, it is about time to try this again. Get back into a writing routine. The move is done, unpacking is coming along. Not so much of a deadline this time.

This time, I am focusing on the business, not so much making this home. I mean, it is what it defaults to, but this too, is only temporary. Creating a solid marketing plan and business structure. That is the next 'big' creation to focus on for me. I have some ideas that are still vague and hazy and became even more so with the intensity of the move. So, it is time to sit and write what I can and share the development of a dream. The sorting of an action plan, the deciphering of the what for?

What for? That has often been a question that comes up for me. What am I doing this for. Usually, it only occurs when it is something I want for myself. When I get caught up in the doing for others, that doesn't really show up. What's in it for me? Maybe that is the question that lies at the heart of everything I do, everything I focus my attention and energy towards.

What for? What is the meaning of life? I know a daunting and big question that is somewhat trite, but really, why do any of us do anything? Who knows what things will be remembered and what things will be forgotten? Who really cares what someone else did? I am often inspired by the stories of others. The challenges and triumphs of overcoming whatever obstacles were in their way of success is an intriguing story to follow.

For me, the meaning of life is to create. Not only pretty things, but experiences. The ultimate creation is to declare and create an experience. Hmmm, now let us distinguish experiences. An experience is something that engages all of our senses. Our sense of touch, taste, smell, vision and hearing are the five that are common awareness, but the sixth, the intuitive one, when that is activated and engaged, the experience is remembered, it can be relived over and over and over again.

Many of us have no problem remembering unpleasant experiences. Where we were, what we were wearing, the taste of something we were eating or the song that was playing on the radio. When we recall the experience, we go into the emotional state present at the time of the experience. Or we go to the emotional place that we make up as most comfortable or rewarding about that experience.

Remember your first kiss? The first time you met someone special to you? The first time you rode a bike? Tasted your favorite food. There were images and similarities that were grounding that experience into your cellular memory. Cues that will trigger the memory and emotion of the experience for the rest of your life.

The thing about emotions though, is they are meant to be transient, mobile and carry us through things. When we transform our emotions to the highest frequency, one of unconditional love, we have integrated our divinity and our humanity. Emotions are not permanent. A lower emotion, fear, anger, frustration, they all become an attachment. Love, possession, desire, they too are attachments. This is how people get caught up in defining who they are by their emotions.

 Emotions have the same properties as water. Stagnant water breeds disease, a raging river is carrying sediment and debris back to the source. The way water cycles through the eco system, a fine and beautiful balance, so emotions must run their course. There can be destruction in their wake, erosion of the establishment, the beauty and majesty of the Grand Canyon would not exist were it not for the power of water.  The goal of water is to get back to sea level, back to source.  

Creative projects can open our selves to the transformation of emotions, an expression via the other senses, vision, music, cooking. The passion of an artist, they are channeling their emotions.

What is your passion? How will you channel your anger, your love, your bliss, your fears? Doing nothing, is a block, it creates a stagnant pool. Nothing can thrive there. The giving life force of water is stopped, open the flood gates, CREATE for the sake of LIVING! This may be the best way to re-ignite an emotion, to shift the current of your being into one of alignment with your soul.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Back online and Unpacking

It is Wednesday and Internet service has been restored. The past two days have been spent unpacking and organizing the kitchen (which still needs some attention) and yesterday finding all of my work related things to prepare for a client presentation tomorrow.

The wall elevations are done, just adding the potential fabrics to my data base and letting ideas solidify. More sketches to follow.

My own window, an eight foot sliding glass door, west exposure and open for the world to see is in desperate need of a window dressing! I plan to order a one way, hand draw drapery rod and make some very casual and informal type draperies to keep the sunlight from damaging furnishings and provide a bit of privacy....

The creative flames have been burning fiercely the past few weeks as I have been thrown into the frenzy of moving. It will be imperative to get things on the schedule to keep the fires of action alive!

Thanks for checking in, new things to report everyday, as inspiration is constant, action, still elusive.. Hoping to get to what I want to be doing soon! Painting and Sewing!

Friday, June 14, 2013

No Internet until Wednesday

Hello all. I am in the final days of moving... today and tomorrow and then tackle the big mess at the apartment... where to go with it all...

There will be a time of no distraction, Internet is not scheduled to be hooked up until Wednesday of next week... so... just putting it out there, not like you all haven't survived not hearing from me for weeks at a time anyway! heheheee..

Enjoy your weekend!


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Moving Update....

This is quite the process, moving on, and one that unless you keep the big picture in mind can suck you down a rabbit hole so fast you won't even realize it, until you find yourself deep in the labyrinth of confusion!

The little house by the river is slowly emptying itself out, one car load at a time... The apartment and garage are quickly filling up, a half a car load at a time!

In the midst of the chaos, I have managed to keep working on some projects, but the last of that was yesterday. Everything else is on hold until next Monday. Then starts the unpacking and the focus on design projects. As I look ahead to the weeks to come, it is clear that I will have to schedule very carefully to keep focus on the business activities and my personal life. A good opportunity, that I realize until now, I have focused on one or the other. Apparently, it is integration time! I am looking forward to that.

Carving out little activity areas for work on the things that need to be done. That will force me to keep things in perspective. They have easily been exaggerated in the past few weeks and some things have come out sideways, but I have also learned a great deal about the source of my beliefs about myself, some have surprised me, others not so much.

I am trying not to pack things too deeply, and unfortunately some things will have to be stored at my parents. I know my dad HATES that. On the bright side, I will be more likely to spend time out there working on things that I have been inspired by. In the light of having to discard some of those things, caused the spark of inspiration to ignite into a blazing passion for completing the vision. So,  over the summer, I plan to schedule time to be in the country, working on painting projects that I really want to do. I will have the fresh country air and the open expanse to work on them.

On the other hand, I realized, maybe my dad wants his shed to himself and doesn't want to share the space with anyone. He may want it for his own solitude and peace of mind. I will need to be mindful of sharing his space. I only want a little bit for a temporary time, until I can manage to find a space of my own.

Well, it is time to gather more for the next run later today....

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Life is Good - Right NOW! Being in the Moment.

Just taking a break from packing and moving... what a pain that is. A final last ditch of what am I going to do with THAT? Out it goes.

Finally, now that I know what I want to do when I grow up (that is just around the corner, but I am still committed to having FUN whatever I am doing, explore and create.. ) And maybe a whole other post can be about being all growed up.

Today, I am just grateful for the support I do have. Sure there are a ton of gaps and my life isn't what I want it to be right now, but I have a much more clear idea of where I want it to go. It is up to me to get there. No knight in shining armor on a white horse, no fabulous high paying job making someone else even more money... Just me.

Me, my ideas, my ability to trust (or not) and practice designing and creating my life. With as much practice and dedication as I have put into learning my trade, or design in general (specific) I should be able to master the Art of Living.

I am inspired by my friends, my family, my not friends (I don't have to spend time with someone to admire what they are up to and respect and empower them) even my enemies then, but then are they really enemies? Just because they have something I don't but want... the transformation is when I realized, no one is keeping it from me. Just me and my focus outside of me, keeps what I want at a distance that I keep wanting.

Wanting is over rated, desire, now that has a charge to it! That is the game of choosing and attracting, flirting with whatever the idea that catches my fancy. It is safer game flirting with an idea than a person. People can be so unpredictable.. and then you have to take into consideration what THEY want!

In a perfect world, there is alignment, but the real game is learning to GET in alignment... you or me and often times both...
Me, at Como Park Conservatory a few years ago

My Mom, at Como Park Conservatory a few MORE years ago!

Growing up is a process and not a destination. I am not the same person I was in the photo, neither is my mom. But we are at the core, the goals and dreams are still there, they may unknown in the photos, but the soul leads the way and it always gets what it wants.  It is the divine in all of us, we share it and it belongs to each of us individually. 

I love this picture of my mom. She looks so confident and poised. She said this is about '59?   I wonder what she thought her dreams were then and if any of them came true, or if it was better than she could ever imagine. I will ask her that... the next time we talk. I love my mom!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Moving Day... or the start of moving week......

Today we get the keys to the apartment in Roseville. It isn't far from Como Park and I am looking forward to that. Como Park Conservatory is one of my favorite places that I do not frequent nearly enough.
Como Park Conservatory-a place of inspiration

I will miss the little cottage by the river. Although, it has had its challenges. In the past 10 months, it has been home. The next place is going to be less like home than I would like and that may be challenging.. but, an apartment will be more like long term hotel. No shoveling, no lawn mowing. Just focus on me and my business plan and the implementation of it. No attachments.

Before at the Little cottage....
The little cottage living room, a cozy place to be...
The move is happening a month early, but then the whole summer isn't spent 'moving', like last summer. Move out, into storage, float for two months, move in and know it is only for 10 months... and the winter that would never end... so we really didn't enjoy the neighbor hood as much as we had hoped. Walk to the Riverview theater, stop at the coffee shop. Although in the past few weeks we have done that. It would be nice to come back to South Minneapolis and Longfellow, maybe next year, in a little bit bigger place, that can be called HOME.